When my mother passed away, I inherited her pistol. I refuse to buy bullets for it. I know I could snap at any moment and aim it towards myself. I also know that I could not pull the trigger because I have my children to live for. Quite the predicament. I want to make an impact on the world, but haven't...yet. Today isn't necessarily a terrible day, but its just a day filled with nothingness. I am not content with being a faceless person in the crowd. I want to be the one that the faceless people are looking towards. Gwen seems content with nothingness. I don't think she realizes how quickly life passes by. She knows that I won't go anywhere/leave because I will be away from my son and she relishes in the fact. She knows she has the upper hand and as a borderline, that is not a good thing. I am so sick and tired of the constant complaining...such as, i'm so exhausted, i can't take care of the kids on my own,etc. I feel like an invisible hand is gripped around my neck and slowly squeezing.