I didn't realize how long its been since my last post. Pretty crazy the last few weeks, no pun intended. Quick recap, started the new job on October 1st and so far so good. With my I.T. background, I've been having to spend the last few days doing computer stuff though. I designed our website and helped them select and install equipment. I'm hoping that they will take all this into consideration when they decide my pay rate as I have no clue what I'm making. They gave me a range when they hired me, but I'm not sure specifically. We get paid on Monday so I guess I'll find out then. The people I work with seem pretty cool. Although they have degrees and tons of hands on experience in the field, I don't feel left out or looked down upon, which is a great thing. The closest borderline moment I've had their so far was yesterday. I made a joke and the manager laughed and said how do you come up with that, you're so quiet. I HATE being called quiet. I could feel my lip start to twitch after she said this, which is usually an indicator of an episode, but I played it off. It did stick in my head though most of the day and even this morning. If they asked anybody who knew me well, they would know I am far from quiet. Since I am brand new to this field, I am trying to soak in and learn as much info as possible, so that doesn't leave time for running my mouth all the time. Anyhow, I'm sure they will realize that in time. It did take a bit to get used to working a monday through friday schedule again though, but I'm good now. I was in bed by 10pm last night for the first time in forever. The job is really physical, so by the time I'm done, I'm drained. I can see it being very rewarding though and that is what I am most looking forward to.
In other news, my grandfather went to the doctor a few weeks back and it was determined he needed a heart valve replacement. He wrestled with the decision for a few days, but decided to go through with it. A few days before the surgery an angiogram was done and it was determined he also needed a bypass. He had the surgery last Saturday and has been in the hospital since. Doing alot better each day and I hope and pray for the best. My grandmother has not left his side since Saturday. Thats the kind of love I hope to find someday.
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4 comments:
You are just one year older than our son.
Though he's never been diagnosed, we are now fairly sure that he also suffers from BPD.
Finding your blog is a godsend to us. It mirrors our son's experiences and helps us understand much more.
Our hope is that when my son is 31 he is making the same kind of progress that you are.
I intend to keep on reading. Good luck to you.
Congrats on starting the new job. Very cool.
Onemom,
Thank you for the kind words. Aside from this blog being a way to "clear my head" so to speak, it is also my intention to give those who are in a relationship with a borderline some insight into just how we think. Good luck with your son and if it turns out he is in fact borderline, be sure to pick up the books "I hate you,don't leave me" and "borderline personality disorder demystified" Both great books that are beneficial to both the person with bpd as well as their loved ones.
Adrian,
Thanks! Hopefully it all works out :)
Congrats on starting your new job!
Sorry to hear about your grandfather, but, it's great that he's recovering well!!!
That's the kind of love we are all looking for..it's not just you! It'll come, eventually, we just have to be patient.
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