The mexican and the mexican't

So when I last left you, I promised to tell you the story of the girl I met. Well that didn't last too long, so I'll paraphrase. I met a girl from mexico. She was pretty,smart,never married no kids. She was also here on a tourist visa and had to leave in May. Now I have a problem having a relationship in the same city,much less different countries. For the first few weeks after she went back, I actually really missed her. It was an odd feeling for me. Then over time, I started wondering about "what else was out there" and eventually I told her things just weren't going to work out. I had already cheated on her at this point, with Gwen of all people. The difference was that I actually felt bad about it. She genuinely loved me and meant no harm, but I knew I couldn't deal with the separation.

Speaking of Gwen...I'll get right to the point. Turns out she got pregnant, sometime in march or april. I knew she had missed a period or two and one day i randomly sent her an IM asking her if in fact she was. She said yes and showed me the tests as proof. I was floored. I didn't know how to feel. I found this out maybe in late May,early July. Then on fathers day, I got the call that she had miscarried. I was really upset about this, but tried to come across nonchalant. Deep down though, I was devastated. Anyhow, fast forward to a few weeks later. I was in California for a conference and I sent her a drunk text.I told her much I loved her, wanted to be with her, marry her, all that stuff. Anyhow, I come back into town, we hang out a bit and of course after awhile it hit me. I was reminded of that night back in December..the wake up call. It's a fucking shame because she was my best friend and I miss that. I started to become a little distant and avoided things. After awhile I think she started to realize things weren't cool, so we had a chat and I told her I still wanted to be friends, but she just couldn't do that, so that was the end of that. Again.