The reverse placebo effect

If you have ever taken crazy meds before, you may have experienced the placebo effect the first day you take them. Like if you are depressed and take an anti-depressant, you feel immediately happy. Anyhow, I experienced a similar experience yesterday but it was due to NOT taking my meds. My energy level was through the roof. I wasn't tired at all and went through the day nap free. I spoke with my mom and she told me she was babysitting my nephew. I went over picked him up and we hung out for a few hours and had a blast.

I did have a borderline moment however and strangely enough it was with someone whom I was not dating. I have an online buddy whom I'll call Mary who also is borderline. i have known her for close to a year now. She's awesome and unlike any girl I've ever known. Anyhow, somehow Sybil and her became friends on myspace. I get a text from Mary yesterday saying "guess who I'm meeting up with in a little bit?" I asked who? She replied "Sybil." I immediately got upset and felt betrayed ad like I didn't want to be her friend anymore. I got over it of course but it still sucked.

I did find a borderline community in my town on meetup.com that I signed up for. It would be nice to meet and talk to people who know how it feels.

a visit to the doctor

I get up super early this morning, there is excitement in the air. It's the day of my much awaited psych eval. My appointment was at 8am and I was told before that I should be seen right away since I was the first appointment of the day. Didn't quite happen that way. I finally was called around 8:45, so I had a good hour to do nothing but sit in the waiting room and people watch. I must say, I felt pretty damn normal, compared with some of these cats. There was miss talkingtohearselfthewholetime lady, seated next to mr. haventseenashowerinmonths man, to name a few.
Anyhow, I get in to see the doctor and after getting asked the routine questions he tells me, I agree with your previous diagnosis of borderline, but I will have to put you down as Bipolar II because its easier to get funding that way. This really showed me how uncommon bpd must be. I just want the best treatment I can get and since I don't have insurance through a big company and have to depend on the county poor people coverage, my hands are pretty much tied. Anyhow, he gave me a script for Trileptal, which is what I took last year and felt it really helped, and he was also going to give me one for Celexa. I asked him what his thoughts on Prozac where instead. After reading this article
a while back, I really wanted to give it a shot and he agreed. Its going to be delivered tomorrow morning, so I can't wait to see the results. I'm looking forward to getting the placebo effect from taking it the first day or two, those are always great.
Aside from that, I just went to work, came home, slept for 3 hours and now am getting ready to go watch some basketball...not a bad day or not a great day today, but somewhere in between I guess. I heard from Her earlier in the day through texts, but nothing major. It's weird, the longer time goes by with her making the decision, the more i've started to accept it.