The broke

So I stopped by my kids house Saturday morning to pick them up for the weekend. Their mom opens the door and starts bawling. Saying how she can't afford daycare and how its so hard doing it alone. I immediately felt guilty. I told her that I would be right back, went to the nearest ATM, withdrew most of the money I had saved up for school and gave it to her. During this whole time, it was as if I was in a trance..kinda hard to explain, but I had a strange feeling, almost like I was floating. Anyhow I reminded her that I quit my career not because I was lazy but because I felt if I didn't, I would end up dead. She said thanks and then I left with the kids. At this point I have no idea what I'm going to do for school, but I did what I felt I had to do. She has been there for me and helped me out countless times.
The kids and I pretty much chilled out most of the day, went to the park for a bit. I noticed myself being really on edge with them early on in the day. Getting after them for small things. I told them I need to take a break for a little while. I went in my room and relaxed for a while trying to calm myself down. It worked because the rest of the day went fine. We spend a good part of today hanging out at my friends pool, which was nice. I didn't really have anything planned for today, so it worked out well.

Oh and I'm still sober..lost track of the days but I think its around 5.