The Friend

An interesting incident happened the other day. I didn't write about it at the time since it was the same day as the memorial for my friends son, but today I want to let it all out. After the memorial, I called Sybil and she was at McDonald's for her sons birthday and she invited me over. I was bummed from the events of the day but told her I would stop by anyhow. So I get there and we hang out for a bit. She has her cell phone and wanted to show me a video of her son. She is flipping through the videos when I see one of some young guy for a brief moment. She then quickly flips to the next one. I asked who that guy was and her response was simply "my friend" I paused and said which one? Her response again was "my friend" Now I've lied and manipulated enough people in my life to know when I'm not being told the truth. I sat there for a minute and then got up and said I was leaving and I headed out the door to my car. As I was getting in, she comes out in the parking lot and asked what was wrong? Again, I asked her who that guy was and she said it was her friend. I asked if they had dated and she said no. I was pissed off, didn't believe her, so I left.

I talked to her for a little bit the next day and we agreed we needed to get together and talk about things. I have my kids this weekend so between the two of us we didn't have much time. Last night I woke up at 4am wide awake thinking about things. I sent her a text but she was asleep so I didn't hear from her until around 8 or so when she called. Once again I asked her who that guy was. I told her that I want to know the truth because it would be better to find it out now than to find out later on. She then said what I knew all along...that they had dated while we were broken up. I then hung up the phone as soon as I heard that as a natural reaction. Anyway after talking a bit more it turns out that this guy was in fact a friend of hers but one night while they were drunk, they made out. They never went out on any dates or anything..at least that what she tells me.

So that leads me to where i am now. I feel confused, betrayed and hurt. Of course she was quick to remind me of all the times I lied and screwed her over but as messed up as it sounds, its like those rules don't apply to me. there is nothing I hate more than being lied to. When I catch someone lying,and I always do, it really really pisses me off. When you lie to someone its because you think they are stupid and that you won't get caught, at least thats how I see it. I hate being played as the fool. Anyhow borderline was in full effect during this whole mess. Its weird because I could actually feel it kicking in. You know that feeling when you are going down a big drop on a roller coaster? Thats how I felt. Almost like a high of sorts. I went from thinking she was the most perfect girl in the world to thinking she was just like every other girl thats been in my life...worthless.

So where do I go from here? Well I imagine that for normal people you just get together and talk about things until you work them out, but thats just not the borderline way of doing things.