Don't speak

"You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know "

Woke up yesterday and told myself, today is going to be a great day and it was for the most part. I was really energetic, had fun working with my patients and spent a good part of the day smiling. (I love up times) My hope is with the help of medication and therapy, most of my days will eventually be like this. Anyway, I came up, took a nap for a while and headed out to Applebees to watch some hoops and have a few beers. I realize that I have got to cut out alcohol or at least tone it down a bit. I think the reason I have drank the past 3 days is more out of boredom than anything. It gets me out of the house and helps take my mind off the situation with her.

Speaking of her, I had sent her a text earlier in the day letting her know my plans for the night and she surprised me by stopping by. We had a really fun time, laughed a lot and generally seemed to be enjoying each others company. By the end of the night, we ended up back at her car. No make out session this time, just talking. She said something that really made me think. She told me that she felt she left one situation(her marriage) because of the way she was poorly treated and ended up being in the exact same situation with me. It made me feel pretty bad. I can't go back in time and change things, I can only work on making them better in the future. I just hope she sticks around long enough to see this. It kind of feels like this is all some bad dream. i just want to wake up from it and have things be back to normal. It feels like a part of me is missing and I want it back.