I got my meds yesterday morning. The doc started me out on 600mg of Trileptal and 20mg of Prozac. Usually they tell to take a certain dosage for a week or so, then they bump it up, but he didn't mention anything about that, seems like a pretty low dose, but we'll see. It's better than nothing.
Got a phone call yesterday morning, my caller ID said "Restricted" I answered it and it was Her. I asked her why she blocked her number and she replied that she was calling from home. This really made me feel like shit. To give some background, she lives with her parents. She is still legally married even though her and her husband have been separated for over a year. Because her parents are supposedly these hardcore Catholics and loved her husband, they never knew that her and I were dating. It was almost like I was having an affair...with my own girlfriend. I always hated this and the fact that she had to block her number reminded me of how shitty it felt. I still don't know why she blocked it. I'm guessing she blocked it because she didn't want me to go all crazy and call her house or something. Maybe she was afraid I would call and tell her parents how we dated off and on for over a year. I never did get an explanation, but I knew that I would never do that out of respect for her family. Anyway, that set the tone for the whole conversation, it felt really awkward. I am happy though that I didn't go all crazy and do something stupid like hang up on her. I wouldn't want things to end like that. I'm still waiting to find out what her decision is,but she has a ton of other things going on in her life, so understandable, I am kind of on the back burner. So I wait.
3 comments:
Meds can really suck, especially when you're trying to find what works. It personally took me a few tries to get it right. They take awhile to work, too. Mine took a good month or two until they started to kick in.
Good luck!!
I've just found your blog and to read all your posts, I've found myself confronting some reality of my own. Life suck as a BPD! but to feel like no one understand us is just making it worst. As for meds, it will help you eventually, but still they have to find the right meds and the right dose. Hugs!
Thanks Janna...i had good luck with Trileptal last year, so I'm hoping it helps out. Never tried Prozac, but have heard good things about taking it with BPD.
Nadcesca, good to know that I'm not alone. You nailed it when you said that it seems like no one understands us..thats the hardest part I think. Take care!
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